perceptions

Life has varied realities.  Perceptions become our truth, so it is important that we are aware of what the realities are.  Do we perceive things in a negative way if we are in a poor frame of mind?  Of course we do.  Do we find the silver lining in problems when we are having a great day?  Sure.

It’s ok to have a bad day; to be depressed or upset about something.  It’s even ok for it to affect how we see things at that moment in time.  But with a critical eye and reflection, we may find that things were not exactly the way they appeared at that particular time.  These are good reasons to take time in responding to people when we don’t feel balanced.  Knee jerk reactions can cause us to say things that perhaps we don’t really mean (let’s face it…that employee stocking the produce didn’t need to be lashed out at for not having any cilantro, now did they?).  We can say things we regret, hurt people we care about, and even destroy relationships.

Take time to process your feelings.  Journal your day and find areas of gratitude to record, however small they may be.  Let your raw emotions out there and leave it on the page.  Have a warm cup of tea, burn incense or enjoy a bath with some calming aromatherapy blends.

Take care of yourself.

And remember: just because you’ve had a bad day doesn’t mean it’s a bad life.  Tomorrow is always a fresh new start.

 

there is beauty everywhere

Time can take its toll.  People can wear us down.  Stress can break us.  Life can be challenging.  I have taken a leave from my weekly entries for good cause, but in the past few weeks, I have felt the urge to begin sharing once again.

Yes, time can take its toll.  We can race the clock, or watch it seemingly tick in place as we wait for the workday to end.  Time can also go far too quickly when in the presence of someone who understands you almost as well as you understand yourself.  You look back and realize that days, weeks or even months have disappeared in the blink of an eye.

People can and do wear us down; however, the right people in your life will energize us and lift us higher than we have known before.  The key is to surround yourself with people who inspire you to be a better person every single day.

Stress can break us.  But, the Japanese have a term that seems fitting here: kintsukuroi, which means “to repair with gold”.  When we fill the cracks in ourselves caused by the stress of life, we become more beautiful because we are imperfect.  Acknowledge and embrace that which is part of us – the imperfect and broken pieces of us, so that others too can appreciate and enjoy the beauty that can come out of the stress we are put under.

Someone reminded me of a favourite quote of mine today: In a world where you can be anything, be kind.  We are all fighting our own battles with demons unknown to others.  Be someone’s light.  See their cracked shell in all its glory.  Be the reason someone’s day flew by.  Be a good human.  You may never know how much your actions may help another person to make it through one more day.

tears

Some things bring tears to your eyes. Not because they are sad, but because they are memories in the making. Tears of happiness or of joy but knowing that these moments will not last. Tears of trying to make the most of the time in the moment yet trying to freeze the emotion and feeling so that it can be felt again when that memory comes to mind in the future.

Tears come to my eyes often. I am an emotional creature. Tears are healing. They help to wipe the past hurts away; to open the doors to new and healthier experiences. Tears are therapeutic. To soothe and hug you when you need consoling.

But tears in these happy moments are the ones that remind me that these things—these moments, are the ones to remember and cherish, because they are the ones that I will want to remember in years to come. These are the moments that life was made up of. The growing years and the happiness that made for a good life.

serenity in nature

Take the time to take a walk in silence in nature.  See with your senses.  Smell the earthy aroma of the soil, the sweetness of the grass, the flowers,  the muskiness of the trees.  Breathe in the fresh air.  Feel the tingle of the breeze against your arms, your hair as it dances with the tiny currents in the air; embrace its caress on your cheek.  Notice the warmth of the sun on your skin as it plays hide and seek through the canopy of the trees.  Notice the coolness of the shade when the sunshine ducks playfully behind the clouds.

See with your eyes the beauty that surrounds you as life carries on synergistically around you.  Watch as the birds play amongst the branches.  Observe the bees as they explore the blooms, dusting their tiny feet with pollen.  Look for butterflies and dragonflies as they dance and with the wind to music that can only be heard with the heart.

Listen with your ears.  Pay attention to the love songs amongst the birds and the frogs.  Hear the rustle of leaves as the mice and little critters forage through the brush to find breakfast.

Feel the world with your intuition.  Connect with the earth in an unseeing way.  Give your compassion to Mother Nature and all her precious beings and let her return that love to you.  Spend time in silence to discover all the things that go unnoticed in the busyness of life.  Give yourself time to renew in the healing bond with nature and feel the serenity that lives amongst us in our busy world.

glory of peace or glory of war

Yesterday was Remembrance Day here in Canada.  As a child, I would go to parade and watch as my father participated.  As an adult, I would attend out of honour and duty to those who have served the country and for those who lost their lives during war.  It has been ingrained in us that we should consider these people heroes, giving the ultimate sacrifice for their country.

I do not disagree.  They did give their lives fighting for what they believed in.  I will not take that away from anyone.

What troubles me is that I want peace in the world.  I know many people want peace in this world; yet we create things like movies, books, and yes, parades, to glorify war…all in the name of peace.  It feels like an oxymoron.  I am conflicted.

I, too, once considered a military career.  I had trained myself physically for the task, and I truly believed that this was a career path that made sense.  Life chose something different for me, and I believe there must have been some universal or divine intervention on that one because I do not know how I would have managed a career such as that with the inner turmoil I feel when it comes to war and fighting other humans.

So, how do we justify the wars and losses of life when we look at a world pining for peace?  How can we move forward when we constantly remind ourselves of the conflict that we could not overcome without mercilessly killing other humans?  Will our human race ever be able to rise above the seemingly ingrained desire to fight in order to create a harmonious planet?

I did shed tears yesterday, as I often do on the eleventh day of the eleventh month.  I shed tears this year because I fear that we will never achieve that balance, globally.  Not so long as we have people who are willing and eager to eliminate others because they believe that their way is the right or only way.

reframing

We all, at one point in time or another, have experienced something negative.  Something beyond our control that affected us in a less than positive way.  Perhaps it was the abrupt end to a relationship or being forced to move out of an apartment before you were ready.  Maybe you were released from a job that you were incredibly good at, and still cannot figure out why it happened.

These kinds of things can affect us in a negative way, sometimes leaving us to think that we did something wrong or were responsible for the event, and as such, we take responsibility for the consequences.

But what if we shifted our thinking?  What if we reframe those events to see that events can happen independent to us, even though they affect us?

Positive things can happen from negative points in our lives.  What if that relationship needed to end in order to see that there was a host of mental and emotional abuse involved, creating a harmful environment to you, but you just couldn’t see it until you were on the outside looking in?  What if that apartment that you loved was simply too expensive, but you found a smaller flat closer to work that allowed you to walk there, thereby allowing you to spend less on rent, not have to pay for public transportation, and increased your level of physical activity which not only results in a healthier you, but you also lose those couple of pounds that were troubling you, and you also have extra money in your pocket at the end of the month?  Or that job that you loved and were so good at, but you now realize how very toxic that office was that you now, in your new job, feel less stress because there is not the constant talking behind every one’s backs, and your new job has a superior support system where they can see your amazing skills and potential, but not only that, there is also an incredible benefit and pension package that goes along with your new position.

Some say that things happen for a reason.  Perhaps that is true.  Whether they do or the don’t is beside the point.  What we can work with is how we look to these scenarios.  We can choose to see the negative, never having closure as to why the people in that office were so hurtful to you and why you never received closure as to why you were let go.  But, we can also see that these negative things need to happen so that we can truly and honestly appreciate when something wonderful happens, without taking it for granted, assuming that all things will work out the same way.

Reframing our outlook changes how we view the world.  It can make us appreciate the good in our lives, even when there are terrible things happening in our world around us.

what do we really need?

I was fortunate enough over the past couple weeks to gain some perspective on the philosophy of minimalism.  I spent the better part of a week away, cultivating relationships with family friends.  During this time, I needed to choose what I would do with my down time in the evening.  I brought a couple minor things…a tablet to continue with my writing, some kitchen cotton to crochet some dishcloths-a minimal mental task that keeps my hands busy when I’m feeling tired, and my aromatherapy studies.

During the course of the week I discovered a couple things:  The space I was spending time with was peaceful with minimal items in the room.  It simply allowed the mind to rest.  I spent more time with people, interacting instead of spending time in front of distractions.  The tablet never came out until everyone was settled into their beds.  It was a good exercise in being present.

A valuable lesson came out of this experience for me.  I discovered that even though I hold on to the ideals and philosophies of minimalism, I am still finding that there is a lot of stuff that lives with me in my house.  After returning home, I looked at my house with a refreshed minimalism lens and began going through things to donate or discard as needed.  It was quite satisfying to shred fifteen year old documents, and provide a new home for clothing items that were gently used, or not used at all.  In the kon marie way, these items had served their purpose at the time, and now they needed to be thanked and sent on their way.

I still have a way to go, but it is a journey.  I am still ever grateful for the experience to refresh my determination to live a simple life.

simpler times

Heritage locations that showcase how life used to be lived can be a great reminder of just how far we have come.  It’s also a reminder of how much simpler life used to be.  People didn’t have computers, smart phones, or even robotics to help do their jobs.  They used good old muscle power.

I spent the day at one of these such sites this week.  I like to visit places like this alone and truly immerse myself in the sense of what it was truly like at that time.  Why?  Because I hope that the reminder will help me to appreciate what we have now.  Also, to remind me that we don’t need everything we have in this modern life we live.  It helps reinforce my minimalistic lifestyle and appreciate what I have and use daily even more.

We live a good life.  We don’t plow the fields with a horse drawn plow anymore.  Most of us don’t even have a need to grow our own food, so if we do, it is more of a hobby than a necessity.  Imagine the wonder that our ancestors would have had if they were told that growing food would become a hobby!

We are beyond fortunate.  We are spoiled with having immediate gratification.  Taking time to remember this perspective is grounding.  I am grateful for the reminder.

it’s ok to be alone

Everyone walks a different path.  Some people have a need to be in a partnership, and others tend to go from relationship to relationship searching for whatever it is that they need.  Then there are the other people who seem to do well on their own.  These are interesting people.  They depend on themselves and are content to be alone.

This doesn’t mean they don’t have friends or want to go out and have a good time.  They just don’t have a need to be in a relationship to define themselves or feel complete.  I admire this quality.  And as time goes on, I feel that I fit into this group more and more.  I find I need to weigh the pros and cons of relationships with being single every time someone tries to set me up, or I am asked out on a date.  For the last few years, the single me continues to win.

I used to be afraid of growing old and dying alone.  I don’t fear that any longer.  It seems to me that once you get to know yourself truly as just you without outside influences, it becomes easier to live your life as a single person.

Will I stay single forever?  I don’t have the answer to that, but I know that for now, it feels right to be alone, and that it is perfectly ok.

we all experience a little sadness

We all get into a funk from time to time, don’t we?  I did this week.  I had some changes occur in my life and I know I wasn’t responding to them in the most positive way.  I knew they were coming, it wasn’t as if I was blindsided.  I knew.  I was just…sad.  Sad for the changes because it wasn’t what I was wanting or looking for or even hoping on.

But it happened anyway.

Sometimes change can be difficult, particularly when we do not embrace it.  It is ok.  We are all allowed to be a little sad, or a little depressed, or in that funk.  I think the most important thing to remember is that when we do, we should acknowledge those feelings.  Let them be present.  Sit with them for a while, then let them pass on their merry way.  Without sadness, we do not know happiness.  Without the storm, we can’t recognize the calm.

Don’t be sad that it’s over, smile because it happened.  Who said that?  Dr. Seuss perhaps. It is a good mantra.  I will try to not be sad that it is over.  I am smiling because it happened.  I am pleased to have experienced it all and created the connections I did.  Some things are in our lives for a purpose, no matter how short the period is.  They are all significant in creating us who we are.

Onwards and upwards.