perceptions

Life has varied realities.  Perceptions become our truth, so it is important that we are aware of what the realities are.  Do we perceive things in a negative way if we are in a poor frame of mind?  Of course we do.  Do we find the silver lining in problems when we are having a great day?  Sure.

It’s ok to have a bad day; to be depressed or upset about something.  It’s even ok for it to affect how we see things at that moment in time.  But with a critical eye and reflection, we may find that things were not exactly the way they appeared at that particular time.  These are good reasons to take time in responding to people when we don’t feel balanced.  Knee jerk reactions can cause us to say things that perhaps we don’t really mean (let’s face it…that employee stocking the produce didn’t need to be lashed out at for not having any cilantro, now did they?).  We can say things we regret, hurt people we care about, and even destroy relationships.

Take time to process your feelings.  Journal your day and find areas of gratitude to record, however small they may be.  Let your raw emotions out there and leave it on the page.  Have a warm cup of tea, burn incense or enjoy a bath with some calming aromatherapy blends.

Take care of yourself.

And remember: just because you’ve had a bad day doesn’t mean it’s a bad life.  Tomorrow is always a fresh new start.

 

there is beauty everywhere

Time can take its toll.  People can wear us down.  Stress can break us.  Life can be challenging.  I have taken a leave from my weekly entries for good cause, but in the past few weeks, I have felt the urge to begin sharing once again.

Yes, time can take its toll.  We can race the clock, or watch it seemingly tick in place as we wait for the workday to end.  Time can also go far too quickly when in the presence of someone who understands you almost as well as you understand yourself.  You look back and realize that days, weeks or even months have disappeared in the blink of an eye.

People can and do wear us down; however, the right people in your life will energize us and lift us higher than we have known before.  The key is to surround yourself with people who inspire you to be a better person every single day.

Stress can break us.  But, the Japanese have a term that seems fitting here: kintsukuroi, which means “to repair with gold”.  When we fill the cracks in ourselves caused by the stress of life, we become more beautiful because we are imperfect.  Acknowledge and embrace that which is part of us – the imperfect and broken pieces of us, so that others too can appreciate and enjoy the beauty that can come out of the stress we are put under.

Someone reminded me of a favourite quote of mine today: In a world where you can be anything, be kind.  We are all fighting our own battles with demons unknown to others.  Be someone’s light.  See their cracked shell in all its glory.  Be the reason someone’s day flew by.  Be a good human.  You may never know how much your actions may help another person to make it through one more day.

earth angel

There is a lady who is very special to me.

She thinks I’m strong, but she’s stronger even on her worst day.  She called me an inspiration, but she inspired me more than she could ever comprehend.

She has the strongest faith of anyone I know, and it has served her well.  She has beauty both inside and it radiates outward.  She has a natural beauty that commands attention and a way about her that makes people adore her even in her most simplest form.

She is able to make people feel calm even during times of stress and tension.  She lets me be my real self in her presence and shows me love even when I had a hard time loving myself.  Never once have I felt insecure about showing my emotions when I am in her presence.

She gives me courage even when we are not together.  She gives me power to move forward in my life because of her words.  She is the type of person this world needs more of.  She is the type of person I have and continue to aspire to be.

lessons learned from a weekend in the mountains

Living day to day isn’t much different than spending a long weekend hiking in the mountains; it’s just a matter of perspective. As I went along the trails, a few things had come to light for me.

1. Don’t put off until tomorrow what you should do today.

2. Be open minded. It gives you many more great experiences to share if you do.

3. Take your time. It’s ok to be slow; just keep moving upward.

4. Do or not do, there is no try. Thanks Yoda, it’s cliché, but at the same time holds much truth.

5. Sometimes it hurts. Keep going because it’s definitely worth it.

6. Every step forward is positive. Don’t lose momentum.

7. Savour every moment. They are all fleeting.

8. Find your happiness. There are meadows of happy little critters everywhere. Look for the one that brings you joy.

9. The accomplishment will only propel you forward. Never forget how good that first one felt.

10. The first summit is only the beginning.

Find your motivation and keep going.

tears

Some things bring tears to your eyes. Not because they are sad, but because they are memories in the making. Tears of happiness or of joy but knowing that these moments will not last. Tears of trying to make the most of the time in the moment yet trying to freeze the emotion and feeling so that it can be felt again when that memory comes to mind in the future.

Tears come to my eyes often. I am an emotional creature. Tears are healing. They help to wipe the past hurts away; to open the doors to new and healthier experiences. Tears are therapeutic. To soothe and hug you when you need consoling.

But tears in these happy moments are the ones that remind me that these things—these moments, are the ones to remember and cherish, because they are the ones that I will want to remember in years to come. These are the moments that life was made up of. The growing years and the happiness that made for a good life.

is happiness a choice?

Is happiness a choice, or is it something that simply is?  Do we get to decide if we are happy or not?  Are we just a victim of our surroundings?

In my life, I believe we can choose to be happy.  Yes, things happen in life that can be difficult, but when it comes down to it all, how we opt to deal with the things that have happened, its ultimately up to us whether we choose to remain sad or bitter about the events, or if we instead decide to still be happy.

Happiness is a much healthier option.  I have seen people who seemingly have everything in life, yet they simply cannot be happy for themselves.  Keep in mind, this is different from those exhibiting signs of depression, and I would not lump a mental health condition into the same category.  I have also seen people who have had severely traumatic events happen in their lives who still chose to be grateful that they are still alive on this earth.

We all have days where the weight of the world brings us down.  I try to remind myself that I am lucky to be where I am.  I have gratitude for the friends and family I have, my living conditions, my job and my passions.  I am grateful for having an able body which allows me to do things that others may not have the opportunity to do.  This gratitude invariably leads me to happiness.

I look for the positives; for the good in the world.  I avoid the news because happy news does not make money and therefore they do not play it.  I cultivate my circle of friends to ones who reflect my inner light, and we bring each other up instead of drawing them down.  I count my blessings.

Everyday, there is something new to be grateful for.  Look for it and you will find happiness everywhere.

whatifitis

This is my self-diagnosis.  It captivated me years ago and it keeps me hostage in my safe place.  Whatifitis is rooted in fear.  It prevents me from taking chances in so many areas of my life: my career, my hobbies, my love life, my dreams.  It keeps me frozen in my current state because it is a comfort zone, although comfort zones aren’t always as safe as what they appear to be.

Don’t get me wrong, I have conquered some of my whatifitis, such as taking solo trips and visiting new places with my sons, but it still keeps me in shackles when it comes to other aspects in my life.

It keeps me from taking the what-if leap.

What if I started that small business.

What if I allowed that man to come into my life and my family.

What if I didn’t overthink every single solitary step in my life?

Overcoming whatifitis isn’t an overnight thing.  The cure is hard work and determination.  There needs to be a realization and self reflection on what I am doing. Is there is any self-sabotaging behaviours present?  There needs to be a plan; a schematic to ensure whatifitis doesn’t return to take me back to that place.  I have had a glimpse of the freedom from whatifitis, and it is a beautiful thing.  I think I am ready to explore that further, and to find a way to cure myself of this condition.

new year, positive changes

With each new year, I, like many others, use this time to reaffirm the things I am doing in my life.  I use this time to evaluate what is working and what isn’t, and to decide if there is value in changing things.

I don’t necessarily like the term ‘resolution’ because to me that has a fairly negative connotation.  I don’t need to change everything.  But I do take this time of year to reflect on the past, and to help me see where I want my future to go.  I evaluate my financial standings and make my goals.  I evaluate these goals frequently through the year and celebrate when I achieve a personal victory.  I refigure things when something unforeseen comes up.  As I take down the Christmas tree, I reaffirm my commitment to minimalism, and give the house a good scrub to ring in the new year.  I use my vision board to help me map out my personal goals and desires.  Am I where I wanted to be?  Is there anything I need to adjust to get there?  How is that book coming along?  Have I made my goal in my photography progress?  Did I finish that course yet?  If the answer isn’t yes, then why didn’t they match up?  If they did, what are my next goals?

We sit here, on the last day of the year.  There is much joy to be celebrated from 2017.  There will also be much joy to come in 2018.  With some planning and positive reinforcements, it will be a great year to come.

reframing

We all, at one point in time or another, have experienced something negative.  Something beyond our control that affected us in a less than positive way.  Perhaps it was the abrupt end to a relationship or being forced to move out of an apartment before you were ready.  Maybe you were released from a job that you were incredibly good at, and still cannot figure out why it happened.

These kinds of things can affect us in a negative way, sometimes leaving us to think that we did something wrong or were responsible for the event, and as such, we take responsibility for the consequences.

But what if we shifted our thinking?  What if we reframe those events to see that events can happen independent to us, even though they affect us?

Positive things can happen from negative points in our lives.  What if that relationship needed to end in order to see that there was a host of mental and emotional abuse involved, creating a harmful environment to you, but you just couldn’t see it until you were on the outside looking in?  What if that apartment that you loved was simply too expensive, but you found a smaller flat closer to work that allowed you to walk there, thereby allowing you to spend less on rent, not have to pay for public transportation, and increased your level of physical activity which not only results in a healthier you, but you also lose those couple of pounds that were troubling you, and you also have extra money in your pocket at the end of the month?  Or that job that you loved and were so good at, but you now realize how very toxic that office was that you now, in your new job, feel less stress because there is not the constant talking behind every one’s backs, and your new job has a superior support system where they can see your amazing skills and potential, but not only that, there is also an incredible benefit and pension package that goes along with your new position.

Some say that things happen for a reason.  Perhaps that is true.  Whether they do or the don’t is beside the point.  What we can work with is how we look to these scenarios.  We can choose to see the negative, never having closure as to why the people in that office were so hurtful to you and why you never received closure as to why you were let go.  But, we can also see that these negative things need to happen so that we can truly and honestly appreciate when something wonderful happens, without taking it for granted, assuming that all things will work out the same way.

Reframing our outlook changes how we view the world.  It can make us appreciate the good in our lives, even when there are terrible things happening in our world around us.

meditation in modern life

This weekend I have had the very fortunate opportunity to spend it with a group of ladies with the same common interest.  We have all gathered to learn how to teach meditation.

What interests me about meditation is that while some consider it to be “New Age”, it seems that every culture and religion has some form of meditation; they may just call it something different.  Prayer with a rosary, meditation with a Tibetan mala… really, not much difference there.

Mindfulness is a buzz word that has been thrown around lately, but what does it mean to you?  Do things with intention.  Recognize what it is that you are doing.  Mindfulness is being taught in some schools.  Being mindful while eating is a tool used for some diet regimes.  All forms of meditation.

You can sit to meditate.  Lay down to meditate (be careful not to fall asleep, although, that is yet another form…), or walk to meditate.  This one is most difficult for me because walking is associated with thinking for me, which is the opposite of meditation.

Nature lends itself to calming and quieting the mind and is a wonderful place to sit and be still.  Have you ever tried it?  It is blissful.  It seems to melt away the stresses of what we do during our daily grind.

In the path of my life, it makes sense that meditation and mindfulness is present.  Along with minimalism, where intention of what lives or comes into my space, mindfulness is also present in every decision I make when it comes to consumerism or purging.  I become more acutely aware of the disarray in my space and it affects my inner serenity.  I wonder, does it affect yours also?