This is my self-diagnosis. It captivated me years ago and it keeps me hostage in my safe place. Whatifitis is rooted in fear. It prevents me from taking chances in so many areas of my life: my career, my hobbies, my love life, my dreams. It keeps me frozen in my current state because it is a comfort zone, although comfort zones aren’t always as safe as what they appear to be.
Don’t get me wrong, I have conquered some of my whatifitis, such as taking solo trips and visiting new places with my sons, but it still keeps me in shackles when it comes to other aspects in my life.
It keeps me from taking the what-if leap.
What if I started that small business.
What if I allowed that man to come into my life and my family.
What if I didn’t overthink every single solitary step in my life?
Overcoming whatifitis isn’t an overnight thing. The cure is hard work and determination. There needs to be a realization and self reflection on what I am doing. Is there is any self-sabotaging behaviours present? There needs to be a plan; a schematic to ensure whatifitis doesn’t return to take me back to that place. I have had a glimpse of the freedom from whatifitis, and it is a beautiful thing. I think I am ready to explore that further, and to find a way to cure myself of this condition.
I am certain that we all have times where we experience self doubt. The am I good enough, or the what if they don’t like me, or the I can’t do this feeling creeps into our lives at times of self doubt. I know for certain these feelings come into my life often. I worry about failure because of self doubt. I might not even attempt to try what I wanted because self doubt tells me I can’t do it.
Then, there are times when I have allowed self doubt to win and I see someone else out there doing what I had wanted to do. I realize that they are no better at it than I am. The difference though? They didn’t let self doubt stop them from going out and doing it.
Dreams and aspirations don’t need to be halted because of self doubt. Put yourself out there. You may be surprised at just how much you can accomplish when you put self doubt into the back seat and let confidence take over the steering wheel for a while. Believe in yourself.
Decisions in life aren’t always black and white. How do you choose which path to take when the answer isn’t completely clear? Do you trust your instinct, go with your gut? Do you make a pros/cons list for every option and weigh them out? Do you gain advice from friends, family, and professionals?
Some decisions aren’t as monumental as others, but when they are, many things hang in the balance. What compels you to choose one path over another is different for each one of us. While I may be sitting in this situation right now, I am trying to gain as much information as possible from as many sources as I can. I want to make the right decision, not just the right decision for right now.
So, while I am busy trying to make my best decision, I feel rather absent minded when it comes to other areas, pushing them to the back burner as it were. Single parenting, while rewarding in itself, is also very challenging. Adding major decisions makes it even more challenging. To those who are sitting in a similar position as I am, my heart goes out to you.