This is my self-diagnosis. It captivated me years ago and it keeps me hostage in my safe place. Whatifitis is rooted in fear. It prevents me from taking chances in so many areas of my life: my career, my hobbies, my love life, my dreams. It keeps me frozen in my current state because it is a comfort zone, although comfort zones aren’t always as safe as what they appear to be.
Don’t get me wrong, I have conquered some of my whatifitis, such as taking solo trips and visiting new places with my sons, but it still keeps me in shackles when it comes to other aspects in my life.
It keeps me from taking the what-if leap.
What if I started that small business.
What if I allowed that man to come into my life and my family.
What if I didn’t overthink every single solitary step in my life?
Overcoming whatifitis isn’t an overnight thing. The cure is hard work and determination. There needs to be a realization and self reflection on what I am doing. Is there is any self-sabotaging behaviours present? There needs to be a plan; a schematic to ensure whatifitis doesn’t return to take me back to that place. I have had a glimpse of the freedom from whatifitis, and it is a beautiful thing. I think I am ready to explore that further, and to find a way to cure myself of this condition.
Spring is often a time of change. With the changing seasons, the melting of the winter’s snow, many of us look to spring as a time of change and renewal. A fresh beginning. We have spring cleaning which revives our homes. The sun coming up earlier gives us more energy to tackle life’s challenges, and maybe even for us to set new goals and plan for achievements.
I know for me spring is all of those things. I look towards the future and see what I might like to change. I review my five year plan, my finances, and see if my goals are still in line with my personal outlook on life. Sometimes it is, but sometimes it isn’t. When it’s not, I adjust the goals to match my current philosophy or state of mind. Life events change how we view things. We maybe realize that having that Mercedes isn’t as important as it once was. Maybe we see the value of striking out on our own and creating that dream business. Maybe we stick out our necks and try to publish that book that was a private labour of love.
Whatever spring may mean to you, I hope it is fruitful and joyous, as life is meant to be.
The theme of my week has been fear. I began reading Gabrielle Bernstein’s May Cause Miracles this week. For those who are unfamiliar with her work, Ms. Bernstein is a life coach who has written several books on happiness, spirituality…basically everything I have been attempting to achieve lately. This book is a slow read. Each chapter will take you through a week at a time, with morning and evening passages to read and little exercises to do. In essence, the book will take six weeks to complete. I’m ok with that. Slow and steady.
This week the book focuses on recognizing and acknowledging fear, and the role fear has in your life. Fear of what? Well, that is all quite a personal question since we all have different fears in our lives. Fear of not having enough financial security, fear of not being loved, fear of…well, you can fill in the blank for yourself. We choose the job we have because we are afraid that if we take a risk on that creative career that we may be broke. We stick with the wrong partner because we are afraid of being alone for the rest of our lives. We play things safe because we have fear of the unknown.
I, for one, am tired of allowing fear to rule my life. I’m ready for these little miracles to start cropping up in my life. I have noticed time and time again how people or situations arise just as I need them. I know in my soul that these things are not coincidence. How many times do I allow my fear to let things slip away? How many times do I ignore that inner voice telling me that something is wrong simply because of my fear of not having a partner in my life? Especially when I look back in hindsight and know what knew all along but was just ignoring all that I saw?
Do you know what I’m afraid of? Living out my life, looking back from my death bed and realizing that I played it safe because of fear. That I didn’t live my life to its potential because I was afraid of the consequences of living the life I truly wanted. That is what I am afraid of.
What are you afraid of?