I have had a week where I was able to spend time doing the things I enjoy. There were still things that needed to get done, like take the little ones to school and make dinner, but I did these things in a way that I preferred.
We walked to school, which is a convenient 5 minute walk. We brought the dog both ways. We didn’t need to use before and after school care this week, and that made a huge difference in how much time we had to do things together and the free time they had without having homework or meal time. Our days suddenly gained a lot of time.
We made meals that were fun and delicious with organic whole foods that were deliciously vegetarian. Dinner became a joy instead of a chore.
It’s amazing how the simple things take on more enjoyment when you have time. Less stuff means less to clean. Less to own means less to owe. This gives way to freedom. The less you need to work to pay the bills for the stuff you need to clean. Seems pretty straightforward, no? With less, you can do more of what you love.
How do you decide who is worthy of a second chance in life? How do you deem the worth of one’s value?
I know this is far too broad a topic, and extenuating circumstances will change the outcome for many people, depending on what the situation looks like. But in general, are we programmed to cut people off or to continue to give them chances to succeed? Where do we draw the line for our own mental or physical security?
This has nothing to do with past relationships that are creeping back in, although I know that is often where people tend to consider the second chances coming into play. I am taking this as a much broader topic. Think about reformed drug addicted individuals, gamblers who no longer gamble, military personnel who have come back from deployment with severe PTSD, or the teenager who has tried to take his/her own life.
It seems to me that the majority of the topics that I have considered have a mental health component attached to them. Whether it is an addiction, or there is something else happening that causes mental unwellness, the bottom line to me is that it is an illness. There are so many stigmas attached to mental illness, and that in itself is a hurdle to conquer. Mental illness needs the same care and attention as physical illness.
Do people suffer the same lingering prejudices if they had pneumonia, broken bones or even cancer as those who have ADHD, bipolar disease or schizophrenia? Generally, no. Why? Because if it is a physical ailment, people can visually see that the individual is better. But with mental illness, it takes trust and a leap of faith to believe that the individual has healed or is under control.
Trust. Faith. Support.
Everybody is worthy of a second chance. Particularly those who have realized their need for help and sought it out. Why should they be shunned for this higher level thinking? Because they have identified their own need? It could happen to every one of us in some form or another. Life is full of second chances. You may be that second chance for someone who needs it.
I have been fortunate enough to allow my heart to open and find people who seem to resonate at the same frequency as I do. It’s interesting how when life seems to be working against you, that truly, the Universe is aligning things for you.
Less than a year ago, I was competing for a position that I was certain I wanted. I worked endless hours, focused so intently on what I was doing to make that job happen. Even those I knew thought I was the best candidate for the position, yet it didn’t happen. I decided for extra insurance, I would apply for another position that came available at a different institution. Just in case. It was a similar job, but I still felt that this was maybe not as good as the original one I was vying for.
I succeeded in landing the second job. I can see now, in retrospect, how this was always the better choice for me. This is where I am happy. I feel my work is meaningful. I have the ability to celebrate accomplishments in a way the other institution didn’t accommodate for. I have met some incredibly amazing people that I would never have met before. These people have become a part of my tribe. I feel that I have been given permission, in a way, from the universe to be myself. To allow the true me to shine through. I hid behind the persona that I thought I needed to have. But in the end, it did nothing for me. I kept searching for the thing that was supposed to make me happy, yet I could never seem to find it. It wasn’t until I allowed myself to shed that protective layer and truly allow my own inner self to bare its soul that I found happiness, and others that share similarities with me.
So, thank you, Universe. I have never felt happier in my life.
This past week I spent a fair amount of time going back and forth to the library. I have discovered that you can borrow movies for free! Now, this isn’t something new, but I have never actually done it myself. I decided it was a good time to give it a try, what with my decluttering and minimalist outlook. Plus, I decided that in order to watch the movies, I have to spend at least an hour on my spin bike while watching one. So not only do I get to watch movies I wanted to see without having to pay for them, I am doing myself some good in the process.
I also borrowed some books for my bedtime reading. One book I borrowed was a “self-help” book called Unsingle. Honestly, not worthy of the time it took to read it. It is basically one girl’s experience of imagining having a boyfriend until one actually showed up. There’s your cole’s notes version. One out of five stars. However, this book is contrary to one of the movies I rented: How to be Single. Now, this movie starring Rebel Wilson, was hilariously funny at so many times. It showed the downside of being single when you so desperately want to be in a relationship. It also showed all the great things about being single as the main character came to terms with her unattached status.
I pondered both sides of things, but in the end, for me I am most decidedly single. At least unless the right guy comes along. I’ve had my share of users and abusers. The narcissist, the self-absorbed, the desperate. They have all taught me that there is some good in these experiences. Surely they have shown me what I want to steer clear of if nothing else!
Being single doesn’t mean you have to spend all your time alone either, ladies. I have developed some wonderful friendships that provide so much happiness! I have the freedom to be friends with other women and with men…something my ex-husband absolutely would not have “tolerated”. And I have to say, I love it! There is no expectation of putting out after an evening out. No commitment to have to get together every Friday night. I can do what I want. Sure, Valentine’s day is coming up. Guess what? I have a date and I will be going out. One of my single girl friends and I have a date with each other, and it will very likely be the best Valentine’s day I will ever have!
So, to those who are sad or feeling depressed because you’re single with the upcoming so-called most romantic day of the year, try and take a look at it from the other side. You have everything you need inside yourself already. Take yourself out on a date! Buy yourself flowers and candy if you like. Happiness comes from within, never allow someone else to be the reason for your happiness.
Be happily single.