Everyone walks a different path. Some people have a need to be in a partnership, and others tend to go from relationship to relationship searching for whatever it is that they need. Then there are the other people who seem to do well on their own. These are interesting people. They depend on themselves and are content to be alone.
This doesn’t mean they don’t have friends or want to go out and have a good time. They just don’t have a need to be in a relationship to define themselves or feel complete. I admire this quality. And as time goes on, I feel that I fit into this group more and more. I find I need to weigh the pros and cons of relationships with being single every time someone tries to set me up, or I am asked out on a date. For the last few years, the single me continues to win.
I used to be afraid of growing old and dying alone. I don’t fear that any longer. It seems to me that once you get to know yourself truly as just you without outside influences, it becomes easier to live your life as a single person.
Will I stay single forever? I don’t have the answer to that, but I know that for now, it feels right to be alone, and that it is perfectly ok.
The other day I went to visit my doctor. As usual, he asked how I was doing and if I was seeing anyone. My doctor likes to keep tabs on me since he knew the issues that occurred before and during the divorce. He always asks how my children are coping as well.
Am I seeing anyone? No, not really. But do I want to be? Well, that got me to thinking. Then the next day I read a brief article on the benefits of being single. That got me thinking even more. There are a lot of benefits to being single. You are the only one spending your income, so you choose where it goes. You decide if you use a credit card for a high-cost item or if you decide to save up before purchasing it. You decide how to pay off debt (like divorce debt), and how you allot your dollars. You decide how to decorate your home. Are you a minimalist or do you like to fill your home with things? Your choice. You decide if you want a pet, and if so, what kind? Do you want to travel? Where do you want to go?
Here’s the best one. You become utterly and solely you. When in a relationship, partners tend to pick up on certain pieces of the other partner’s personality. Quirks, sayings, behaviours. These things tend to blend. The dominant personality tends to overshadow the less dominant personality. You essentially become the same person. However, when you choose a life of being single, you know that who you are is simply you. And that is a good feeling.