It amazes me how some people can have two sides. The one they show you when you are friends or lovers, and the other one. The ugly one. The one who does things designed either to be passive aggressive, or perhaps even to deliberately hurt or scar the other person’s reputation.
Why, when in a relationship, do we feel that we can trust individuals, then once the relationship dissolves, fear that the trust imparted will be broken?
Well. Because it typically is. When an exboyfriend posts things without permission, when during the relationship, things were shared with the agreement of privacy, this…this is why we fear trust. Because it happens. Maybe it’s not the ‘man’ who breaks the privacy bond. It could be the woman as well… But why? Why can’t people still respect the relationship that was? Why tarnish it all with breaking that? With exposing things designed to hurt and offend the other? Things that were shared with the intent of staying with that other person forever.
Vulnerabilities. When we choose to trust someone, we open up to them. We become vulnerable. We hope that our vulnerability is never taken for granted. To be taken advantage of. But when it does, it makes us feel like there is nobody in the world whom we can trust. After all, if you can’t trust a lover, who can you trust? When you share something as intimate as all the things that can only be shared with someone you feel so close to, when that relationship ends, where does that leave you? Waiting. Wondering when those secrets will be exposed. What trigger will it take for the other person to share all those private things you now wish you had never shared?
Waiting. Wondering when their morals will slip into the dark and devious realm. Where their respect for you has not just vanished, but it seems that there is some sense of revenge that needs to be had. But revenge against what? When all you have done is loved them and listened to the lies and betrayal. When you have never questioned or raised your tone to them.
You accepted them for who they were. The problem is, they were not what you accepted at all. They were liars. Cheaters. Manipulators. Users. They wore a disguise to penetrate your fortress, gain insider knowledge, and rip your heart out from the inside out. Then so much later, they put it on display for the world to see. Why is this disgraceful behaviour necessary? Why continue to damage the one who you already took so much from? The one who never asked for anything more than your love in return, why such hurtful, shameful, harmful displays of aggression? Perhaps he thinks he can get away with it. Perhaps he thinks you’ll never find out. But the world is small. Connections are everywhere. The ties get tighter every day, the world is shrinking, and there is no where to hide.
So, let karma take care. Karma knows what to do.
Meditate. Chant. Release the fear, the anxiety, the undeniable hurt. Put out the energy you need to come back to you. Be positive. Release the negative. Believe in the good that is still out there. Guard your heart, but still be willing to trust. Don’t let him break you again. He was never worth your time.